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Parenting on purpose. That's what our church calls it. That's what this is about.

What's our purpose? To glorify God! May this blog do just that.

If you want to know more, see the Purpose Page.

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Thursday, April 19, 2012

I don't want to let go!

PLAY

Tommy and Alex are playing trains together around the corner and all is well. It's like being in a storybook, stirring a pot of Something Delicious for dinner, listening to the music of children laughing and "choo choo"ing, feeling the breeze through the kitchen window as it ruffles my apron.

Until those 3 angry words come out, "No! That's MINE!", followed by shrieking and stomping. Determined not to laugh at Tommy's tantrum, I grab the hand flailing a train around and ask him to look at Mommy. Once I have his eyes, I say, "Can you please choose self control?" in a sweet, storybook voice. I take a moment to appreciate the pretty apron brushing Tommy's shoes. Our eyes meet again, "Tommy, you may not snatch. That is a sin, called being selfish." I'm picturing the reenactment that we will do in a moment... Tommy saying "please" to Alex, Alex saying "wait, please" and moments later giving it to Tommy, or "here, Tommy" in sweet, storybook voices. As he calms down, my hand moves toward that train.


PAUSE


The choice I make here is important. To ask Tommy to give the train back to Alex or to take the train from Tommy and hand it to Alex?

Asking Tommy to give it back means a chance for him to disobey, leading to a second discipline session. And who knows how many discipline sessions it will take before he actually hands the train to Alex. It also means a chance of Tommy throwing it at Alex and having to hold Alex and care for him while disciplining Tommy for snatching, as well as throwing. There's my pretty apron again. Something Delicious needs to be stirred.


I take the train.


Tommy's feet are stomping. He's doing that weird quiet scream in his mouth. He's angry. He didn't want to let go and I forced him to. Now we still have 2 discipline sessions.

Something Delicious might be burning. I go take it off the stove and take Tommy and Alex to the bathroom to be disciplined (Tommy for being selfish by snatching, Alex for being selfish and using unloving words toward his brother). We go back to the playroom and do the reenactment. Of course, Tommy says "please", Alex says "wait" and I have to cut in after a few seconds to tell him that Tommy has waited long enough and Alex joyfully hands the train over and picks up one of the other 15 trains that are on the table.



What did I teach Tommy and Alex?


I taught Tommy that I am in control and that I am allowed to snatch. I taught Alex that the snatching must be dealt with before the closed-fist heart holding the train. Sure, I also taught that they were both being selfish. They were both sinning against each other, against me by disobeying, and against God. I did okay.

I also provoked Tommy to anger.

I sinned against God and Tommy.

Jesus died for that, too.

I glory in the cross now, days after this happened.




REWIND


What if I had asked Tommy to hand the train back to Alex?

He would have hesitated. Would he get it back? It's important. Tommy needs to know he'll get it back. Or that he'll get something better. A lollipop. He'd trade up for a lollipop.


Would that be like God asking us to give Him everything? Does He force us to give Him things we want to hold onto? If we were able to willingly give all of our beloved problems, stuff, and sin patterns over to God, would our feet stomp? Perhaps at first. Would he give back our stuff, our situations minus the problems? The idols, no longer idolized, but enjoyed to the glory of God? Maybe.

Would he remove the fleshly desires and replace them with spirit-filled desires? Would He give us something better? Would He make us more like Christ? YES.

When I don't want to let go, do I receive a discipline session?
Does that thing I hold onto with my closed-fist of a heart tend to cause problems? Do I find that while I'm trying to enjoy it, something inside of me is ruining the joy? The Lord disciplines those He loves. How often does this happen before I finally let go?

When I'm being disciplined by God, do I have an angry, resentful heart? Or do I put my heart in the hands of God, who will mold it into something very much like Christ's heart?


Give God your train.

Joyfully.

Expectantly.

Prayerfully.

Trusting Him completely. And check your hands everyday to make sure your fist didn't close around something else.

Friday, March 23, 2012

The worst that could happen

We are moms. We worry.

We worry about everything. Is the house clean enough, are the kids healthy, will our husbands always love us, what will happen if he loses his job, what we'll make for dinner tomorrow, do people like us, and does our hairstyle makes our foreheads look big?

Now let's take a minute and think clearly about The Truth.

What is the worst that could happen?

We could suffer. People we love could suffer.

For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ, you should not only believe in him but also suffer. Philippians 1:29

Consider it pure joy, my brothers when you face trials of all kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance, and let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

We worry that people we love will suffer, which is a gift from God that actively makes these people that we love more like Christ.

Still worried?

We could die. Someone we love could die.

If that "dying" person is a believer, here's what we're worrying about:

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more. Neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore for the former things have passed away. Revelation 21:4

Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever. Revelation 22:1-5

We worry that we or our fellow believers will die, which is the path to a perfect-in-every-way-can't-be-any-better, eternal life with Jesus Christ.

Still worried?

We worry that if we die, our families will suffer too much.

We already know about suffering. What about the idea that we're giving ourselves a little too much credit? We're saying that our families just won't be able to live without us? It will just be too hard? God needs us? Let's get real. God created the world with a few words. Seems like He might not need our help.

Still think you're that important to the well-being of your families?

We worry that we might lose our husband's love.

When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, He opened her womb. Genesis 29:31

A child. That's what Leah wanted more than anything. That's what she got when the LORD saw that she was not loved. God showed His love in the best way He could to Leah.

Can being loved by many people cloud our vision of God's love for us? Perhaps. Not necessarily.

So, like Leah, if we are not loved by our husbands, that can amplify our perception of God's love for us because of the work He will do.

Still worried?

Then keep reminding yourself of The Truth.